


My Secret Alien Boyfriend

by Areo_ian, AvieAwesome, blackswans22, FridayNightWrites, Green_Riot, Here2ReadVB, Lady_Red, Pipinpadart, rogue_1102, sblovesvegeta



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Awesome Bulma Briefs, Computers, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Secret Relationship, Smut, Vegeta being Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:40:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29314233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Areo_ian/pseuds/Areo_ian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvieAwesome/pseuds/AvieAwesome, https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackswans22/pseuds/blackswans22, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FridayNightWrites/pseuds/FridayNightWrites, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_Riot/pseuds/Green_Riot, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Here2ReadVB/pseuds/Here2ReadVB, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Red/pseuds/Lady_Red, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pipinpadart/pseuds/Pipinpadart, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rogue_1102/pseuds/rogue_1102, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sblovesvegeta/pseuds/sblovesvegeta
Summary: One Friday every month, writers descend to create a story using a prompt. For your consideration:“Vegeta trying to get something on their computer to work. While they're getting frustrated and flipping out, Bulma is sitting nearby cracking up.”
Relationships: Bulma Briefs/Vegeta
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	My Secret Alien Boyfriend

"FUCK MY LIFE!!! Work, you useless piece of shit! Of course, the fucking warranty expired today... isn't that SOOOO FUCKING convenient! Agggh!!!"

A loud crash echoed throughout their small studio apartment, and Bulma looked over her shoulder at her boyfriend as he continued his tirade of obscenities towards the hapless laptop that sat in front of him. All evening this cavalcade of cursing had persisted despite her numerous attempts at giving him advice on the matter.

It certainly didn't help that while on the phone with IT support, he'd ended up making the poor representative cry, which, in turn, only frustrated him further, and his phone had been thrown across the room in a flurry of ferocious movement.

"Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

Vegeta momentarily paused his diatribe to look at her with what could only be described as pure disbelief coupled with brief disgust.

"That was the first fucking thing I tried. I'm not a goddamned infant, Bulma." Vegeta plopped back into his computer chair and threaded his fingers through his flame-like hair.

"No... you're just breaking more machinery while trying to get another one to work," she retorted as she bit her lips to maintain a straight face.

Vegeta rolled his eyes at her and shot his middle finger up. She laughed again at his frustration. She couldn't help it; he was so adorable when he was mad, which was often. Bulma made her way across the room and sat in his lap, prying the laptop from his hands. 

"Let me see it. You know computers can sense fear, right? You have to have that techie mojo." 

"Oh, I suppose you think you can fix it then?"

"Um, duh, I am a genius after all. Well, okay, maybe not a full-fledged genius, but I know enough to be dangerous." She winked and gave him a quick kiss before hopping out of his lap, laptop in hands. Vegeta sat for a moment, watching Bulma tap at various keys. She even set it down and backed away, circling it. "Nope, that thing is busted."

He ran his hands down his face, "I already fucking knew that, Woman." 

"What were you trying to do anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Vegeta felt a small bead of sweat on his forehead. 

"I mean, what were you doing on the laptop before it broke?" 

"Tch, none of your business."

Bulma turned a pouty face towards him, "You don't want to tell me? Were you looking for something for me, a gift maybe? Or was it something...naughty?" she asked, a saucy purr to her voice. 

Vegeta felt a second drop of sweat drip down his face. "Let me see that damn laptop." He stood and made his way over to her. She held the laptop behind her back, making him reach around her in his attempts to take it away. 

"No, I won't give it back until you tell me what you wanted to do with it?" She moved aside as he tried once more to take his laptop from her. 

"It's nothing, now give it back!" He growled, but Bulma hopped over the couch quickly.

"Nuh-uh uh, you won't get it that easily," she smiled mischievously.

Vegeta narrowed his eyes at her, "If you don't run quickly, I will catch you."

Bulma twirled and dashed away, hearing his bare feet against the floor as he chased after her in their small little apartment. She laughed as she ran into the room, and she was suddenly tackled from behind, squealing with excitement. She held on to his laptop, shielding it with her body as he tickled her, "Give it up, Bulma!"

"No!" She chortled, her grip loosening from the laptop.

"This is your last warning, woman," his fingers found a particularly sensitive part on her armpit, and she squealed.

"You can't make me!" She yelled out loudly, knowing in the back of her mind that their neighbors would hear.

Vegeta suddenly flipped her around with ease, taking his laptop and tossing aside without care to grab her hands and pin them over her head. "See? You never stood a chance against me," Vegeta's voice was a dark whisper over her.

Bulma grinned and wrapped her legs around his narrow waist, "What makes you think this wasn't all a part of my plan, and I've won?"

He pulled away from her, the sinister smirk on his face not boding well. "Well, then. Why don't we see what's in your search history, Woman?"

She shrieked. "Vegeta, don't you dare!"

He was already picking up her tablet from the table on her side of the bed.

She tried again, trying her best to appear nonchalant. She had nothing to hide. Nothing, major anyway. Probably. "You're wasting your time. Unlike some people, I know how to use Incognito Mode. You'll find nothing!"

"Good, then you shouldn't mind if I see what you've been up to?" 

Damn. He called her bluff.

She cursed herself for not bothering to set up a PIN or password--she hadn't thought it necessary. Of course, she was the one who decided to start this game.

The smug expression he wore morphed into confusion. "Why the fuck were you looking up 'origins of the word purple'?"

She'd had enough and snatched the device from his hands. "Excuse my intellectual curiosity," she spat. "Now it's time to get serious."

His face dropped. "Serious about what?"

"Fixing your laptop and checking your search history."

"You said it was ruined!"

"I was feeling lazy."

She grabbed his laptop and her toolkit and settled in at the small table in the kitchenette/living room. Flipping the computer upside-down, she removed several small screws.

"I've been thinking of getting a new computer anyway," he said as he sat in the chair across from her. "There's no need to trouble yourself."

She scoffed as she poked wires. "Oh wow, how sweet. You've never been concerned about whether or not it's convenient for me to fix your shit before."

He groaned with a peevish look. "That was before I knew you were wholly capable of invading my privacy."

At that, she paused. He looked pretty uncomfortable. Embarrassed even. "Are there really things on here you don't want me to see?" She inquired genuinely. If he said yes, she'd stop. 

He chewed on her question for a moment before placing his face in the heel of his hand. "Nothing sordid, okay? There's nothing you need to be...concerned over."

She drew her brows. Man, he was cryptic. She waved her hand in a 'more information' motion, and he sighed. "Fine. Can you fix it at least? If I let you…. Browse?"

She perked up like a kid in a candy store. 'Browse, huh?' she thought with a grin. He was by far the most introverted and secretive man she'd ever dated. For a month, in the beginning, she was near convinced he was a spy or something with how closely he kept his cards to his chest. A chance to see his internet history, with permission, before being deleted? Yes, please.

"I will fix it." She said rather confidently. "For 5 minutes in your history."

He looked at her, puzzled. "Could there be that much in there?"

"Have you ever deleted it?"

"No?"

"Then yes." She smiled and got to work.

Less than an hour later, Bulma tightened the last screw before flipping the laptop over, shooting Vegeta a triumphant smirk as she pressed the power button, and the computer whirred to life. 

"How in the hell did you do that?!" Vegeta demanded in disbelief. 

"I told you, I'm a tech genius," Bulma sassed as she finished logging in. 

"And yet you let me struggle ALL DAMN DAY?!" Vegeta roared, the vein in his forehead pulsing dangerously. 

"It doesn't matter. A simple 'Thank you, Bulma' will suffice," Bulma chuckled, waving off her angry boyfriend, far too excited to dig into his search history to deal with his mood. 

She cracked her knuckles, devious smile in place as his device finished starting up, but her face quickly fell and morphed into an expression of shock. 

"Your desktop is a MESS!" Bulma shrieked, horrified. Hundreds of icons littered his desktop, so cluttered that you couldn't even see his background, with no rhyme or reason. "You're a monster. How can I be dating you?" Bulma muttered to herself as she double-clicked his browser icon and hit yes to restore the last browsing session. 

When the browser loaded, Bulma wasn't sure their relationship was going to survive. "How many tabs do you have open?!" she screeched, looking in disbelief at what had to be a hundred tiny tabs open on one browser window. "How do you find anything? Oh my god, I'm dating a psychopath. No wonder your laptop died. Do you never close anything? Do you ever restart? I BET YOU HAVEN'T INSTALLED ANY UPDATES EVER!" Bulma yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at her boyfriend. 

Vegeta threw his hands up and took a step backwards. "I have better things to do than be a slave to a damn piece of technology! It doesn't tell me what to do!" he explained in his defense. 

"Yeah, yeah, Badman. That's why it stopped working. In protest!" Bulma shook her head while opening system maintenance and update windows. "While these are loading- FUCKS SAKE VEGETA! You have no security installed on here?"

"The guy that sold it to me said it came on there."

"A trial period, maybe?" Bulma shook the frustration away, along with any pressing questions about the future of their relationship.

"She felt the heat from his intense gaze as she made her way through his search history. "You sure you want me to look?"

"Woman, we had a deal. Just do it!"

She proudly smirked as her face hovered closer to the screen. The smirk faded as soon as it settled.

"Vegeta?"

He stopped pacing the floor with his back to hers. 

When the history pulled up, her eyes glanced up to meet his. He looked almost as panicked as her. She took a moment to look back at the screen, scrolling through the history for a moment. 

She finally took a deep breath, "What's a… space pod?" 

His eyes widened slightly as he kept his gaze, looking like a deer in the headlights. 

She raised a brow at him, "Well?" She chuckled, "What are you some sort of alien?" This caused him to choke a bit as he turned his head away, "W-well." 

Her mouth opened wide at him in disbelief before shaking her head. She was speechless for a moment, "I see. This was a trick, right? You broke your laptop purposely and set this up!" She laughed, shaking her head. 

But after a moment, when he didn't reply, her smile faded, and her laughter quieted. She could see his hands trembling as if he was just caught in the act of something untold.

He cleared his throat, "I-" his voice squeaked a bit. This was strange. Vegeta never, and Bulma means it he NEVER stuttered like he was now. He took a gulp, "I am from planet Vegeta, and-" 

"OH MY GOD!" Bulma snorted, "Vegeta? Your planet is named after you? What are you five? If you're going to make something up, at least be creative-" 

"I'm not making this up!" 

The room quieted. The only thing heard was faint violin coming from their neighbors' apartment next door. 

She narrowed her eyes, setting down the computer and walking up to him. Her voice grew quiet, "Prove it." 

Vegeta furrowed his brow, "Prove it?" 

She smirked, "Show me what an alien can do. That is, if you are an alien." 

He looked down at her, keeping a straight face. She was so beautiful in the dim light. "You know I don't lie." 

"Oh, do I?" Bulma stared at him skeptically. "You're supposedly an alien and have kept this secret our entire relationship. Perhaps that's not a lie outright… but a lie by omission? I think we can both agree that was the case."

Vegeta studied her expression, a mix of curiosity and hurt. "I meant to tell you. Many times. But… it never seemed like a good occasion to tell you. I understand that you're hurt." Vegeta approached her. In the dim lighting, Bulma viewed him almost as if he were a predator. "Is there something I can do to make it up to you?"

"I told you to fucking prove it, Badman."

Vegeta smirked his infuriatingly smug smirk. "Well, you asked for it, Woman." Vegeta pulled Bulma roughly from the chair, holding her close against him. "I'll start by telling you a bit about my race." He nipped at her ear, his hot breath curling in her blue hair. "We were a proud warrior race. I was raised as a prince. My father was our king… a proud, strong man. He taught me not to back down from a challenge. And I never have."

Vegeta trailed kisses down Bulma's neck. She had never understood how a man with such a rough personality could be so gentle. "We were conquerors. I was made to conquer and defeat my opponent. And you, Bulma, have been more than a worthy opponent." His lips trailed from her neck to her lips. Despite her irritation with her boyfriend of over a year keeping a secret from her like, oh hey, I'm an alien, she eagerly kissed him back. His rough, calloused hands held her even closer to him as their kiss deepened. Bulma reached under his shirt, running her hands over his body.

She abruptly pulled back from their kiss. He deserved to be teased a bit. "And how did your race view women?"

Vegeta snorted. "Women from my world were strong-willed. Is there any wonder I've fallen in love with you, Woman?"

Bulma smiled. "I suppose not."

"CUT!!!"

A loud, hoarse voice rang out and bounced off the closed set causing all the actors and stagehands to stop what they were doing in shock and turn towards the director.

"Nappa? What the hell? We were in the middle of a scene here!" 

Vegeta pulled away angrily and faced their behemoth of a boss. This was their 5th take of this scene, and it finally had some juice in it.

"Sorry, kids. I just got this message from the network. My Secret Alien Boyfriend is officially canceled."

"What?! That's not possible! We’re a top 10 show. We've got a Viewer's Choice nomination!" Bulma countered, almost flabbergasted at the news.

"Yeah, and you can buy those on the corner for 10 Zeni. I don't know what to tell ya. We're shutting down. Go get your paychecks at the door."

A chorus of objections began to rise amongst the cast and crew. Raditz, who played their next-door neighbor, merely shrugged and began to look around for minor props he could sell online to gullible teenagers with mommy and daddy's credit card. Vegeta, for his part, continued to argue with Nappa about the logistics. At one point, the head of the network's name was uttered, and that caused all the activity to freeze.

"I don't give a damn what Frieza says. We're finishing this damn show. I've got a motherfucking contract that says I'm guaranteed 13 episodes."

Nappa looked unconcerned. "And you'll be given a nice severance package and move on to better things. We all know you were talking with that other studio, Vegeta. It's probably your drive for fame that caused this to happen. So, congratulations….go win that Oscar. The rest of you," he said over his shoulder to everyone else watching, "Go on to the next job, go wait tables...go home."

Bulma stared at Vegeta, the hurt and betrayal impossible to hide. How could he do that to..everyone? To her? She had been so lucky to find this job...and now she was doomed to work the convention circuit and pose with fanboys for 25 Zeni a pop.

Bulma squared her shoulders. No, that would not be her fate. She came to West City to make a name for herself as an actress, and she would damned if that asshole was going to ruin this for her. She turned and grabbed Vegeta by the arm, pulling him out of earshot. "So you've been meeting with other studios? I want in."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He made his eyes big and tried to look sweet, but it came off just wrong given his characteristics. 

She rolled her eyes, "Look; everyone heard Nappa call you out. Plus, you owe me."

"I owe you?" he sputtered? "You must be joking. I have been carrying this show." 

"What about that late-night video we made?" she whispered in his ear, "Wouldn't want that getting out and ruining your leading man image, now would you?"

"It would ruin your career, too, if you leaked it."

"Yeah, well, if you dump me after this shitshow, I won't have a career anyway. So what's it going to be 'Badman' you in?" 

Vegeta gave her a death glare and pulled his arm from her grasp. "Fine, I have a meeting planned for tomorrow with Cold Studios at 10:00. Do. Not. Be. Late." with that, he turned and stalked offset.

Bulma quirked a single brow. Cold Studios belonged to Freiza's dad. Just what kind of game was Vegeta Prince playing here? She patted herself on the back for her quick thinking. She was going to make it in West City, one way or another. 

Vegeta made his way to his trailer and slammed the door behind him. What the hell happened? How had Nappa found out he was meeting with other studios? Someone was watching him, that much was evident, and now he had to deal with Bulma on top of it all. 

Bulma...and that damn tape. He smirked at the memory. Not that he regretted what was on that tape, but still, he did have an image to uphold, and he was going to be the biggest star in West City. He couldn't afford for that to get out. No, he would have to play her game for now. 

He heard pounding on his door, and he cursed as he swung the door open to only be shoved back and landed on his couch. The door slammed shut, and he was straddled by his blue-haired coworker, "Who said we were done talking?"

"You crazy bitch!" He growled just as she reached to unzip the fly of his jeans, and his hands went to her hips.

"Do you think you can cop a feel during shooting, and I wouldn't get back at you?" Bulma's hands dove into his jeans and grabbed his rapidly hardening cock.

"Fuck!" Vegeta groaned out, pushing her skirt up and exposing her panties.

"Don't forget Vegeta; we're in this together. For better or worse, we'll never escape each other," Bulma stroked him hard and fast, her hand tightening on his member.

He hissed as his hips involuntarily jerked toward her, his traitorous body overriding his brain, as she slid down onto her knees and took him into her mouth. She had barely taken in the tip when she pulled away all too suddenly, and he groaned at the loss of contact.

"This was my big fucking break, you asshole," she scowled from the floor. "We were about to start shooting my big family-drama arc where it would be revealed that my character was a billionaire heiress the whole time. I was going to fucking cry on command!"

"Cry me a river," he spat. "Your looks may have gotten you this two-bit TV role, but you can't act to save your life."

"Fuck you!" She stood and pointed a finger in his face. "I've had enough of y-"

She was cut off when he stood abruptly and pinned her body against his. A hand tangled in her soft, blue hair as his mouth crashed back into hers. 

"And I've had enough of you being a little cocktease, spoiled princess," Vegeta growled as he broke their kiss. He spun Bulma in his arms and bent her over the small dining table, pressing her palm between her shoulder blades and flattening her out across the tabletop. 

"What are you going to do?" Bulma asked, 

"I'm going to fuck the living daylights out of you," Vegeta growled, pressing his hips tightly against her ass, bending over her body and pressing his chest into her back. 

"Do you want that, Bulma?" Vegeta asked seductively, running his tongue up the side of her neck. 

She paused, taking a deep breath while she weighed her options. Damn him and his demanding, sexy, arrogant ass. 

Vegeta felt like he was going to combust and was not in the mood to wait. "Surrender, Bulma," he growled, giving her ass a sharp slap. 

"Fuck, yes! Damn you, yes. Fuck the living daylights out of me," Bulma groaned, sliding her hands from under her body to push her shorts and panties down her hips and kicking them off. 

"Good girl," Vegeta praised, quickly unbuckling his pants and shoving them down his thighs. He kicked her legs wider as he gave his hard cock a few rough strokes and slid his fingertips through her pussy to test her wetness. "Soaked,"

"What are you- FUCK!" Bulma cried out. He moans quickly muffled by Vegeta's palm.

"Just as tight as before." Vegeta slowly pressed his cock inside her. Trying to focus on her and not how her pussy was clenching his manhood. He moved his hand over her throat when something caught his eye.

"Busted."

Vegeta pulled Bulma to him and shielded her body with his. "What the FUCK! Raditz?!"

"Oh, you didn't think you were gonna make the big bucks and leave me behind, Your Highness? This tape should fetch a pretty price to ZTV." Raditz winked and lowered his phone. 

Bulma turned her head to face him and screamed out immediately, "What the fuck!?" She quickly covered herself as Vegeta stood up a bit, sliding his pants back on. 

Raditz smirked, "Oh, you guys are no fun. You could've saved the production this way. Just 5 minutes." 

"Go to hell!" Bulma spat, quickly going back to the corner of the room to gather her clothes as Vegeta got Raditz to lower his phone. 

Soon, he was ushered out by Vegeta, who this time was sure to lock the door. Bulma was sitting on the couch in the trailer, her face covered. Vegeta awkwardly sat beside her, whistling a bit to get rid of the tension. 

"So…." He trailed off, "You wanna, uhh, see a movie?" 

She looked at him and her face twisted into a face Vegeta had never seen her make before, "Fuck you." 

"You already did." 

She growled a bit, getting on top of him, "And I'm about to do it again-" 

"Hey, Vegeta! I heard about you getting laid off, so I got you snacks-" Goku said, opening the back door. He was holding a grocery bag of snacks. He paused when he saw Bulma on top of his friend. 

"Umm," he looked at them for a moment. 

"Kakarot! How did you get in!?" 

"The back door." 

"Why!?" 

He thought for a moment, "Because the front was locked?" 

Vegeta's face began to turn red. Goku blinked, "I'll just leave this here then." He said as he set down the snack and walked off quickly. 

Bulma sighed. "Well, this has been the worst day of my life. I got fired. No thanks to you, might I add." She scowled at Vegeta. "And then a second sex tape. A SECOND. I never even intended for there to be a first."

Vegeta scoffed. "Well, you can be assured that at least Raditz will be set for life. Greedy bastard."

Bulma moped, holding her hand in her chin. "Well, at least I learned something decent today. We still have incredible sex, don't we?"

"That we do."

"So… tomorrow at 10:00? We're in this together?"

"Together until Frieza realizes what a crazy bitch you are and fires you."

"Shut up." Bulma playfully punched Vegeta on the shoulder. "Yeah, getting fired sucks. But we got to meet each other. And even though you're a pain in my ass, I've gotten attached to you."

"Tch. Well, you're not unpleasant to be around."

"You're such an ass." Bulma stuck her tongue out. "I know you were being an awkward dick, but did you want to see a movie? I know what we have isn't really a relationship… more of an awkward series of sexual encounters. But if we're going to see more of each other, maybe we could spend some more time together."

Vegeta stared at her, and Bulma could see a million thoughts running through his dark eyes. "Yeah. I think I'd like that."

"We've had a lot of sex in this trailer."

"We sure have."

"And make sure you take those damned groceries with you."

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Will do."

With one last look at the dingy old trailer they had grown strangely attached to, the couple closed the door to it for the last time.


End file.
